not a good way to diet

Ok, so vacation was awesome this year, as you can read on Jessica's Blog. Wednesday of that week, us men decided to go deep sea fishing. We got about 45 minutes into the boat ride, and I realized that it would be another 45 minutes until we stopped to fish. Apparently I had too much to eat for breakfast, and my stomach decided that it wasn't such a good idea after all to stuff my face. So, I tried to talk down my stomach by sitting down and forcing myself to think that it'll go away. It did... for about 5 minutes. Cold sweat was forming on my brow when I decided to get up and go to the back of the ship. I felt it coming and sure enough, I threw up... and it tasted like coffee. And I did it 4 times.

Cold sweats aside, I felt better. I moved to the cabin and got some cheez-its and a coke because you're supposed to keep your stomach full. Una palabra: Mistake. Not 10 minutes later, i'm back port-side, letting loose the stomach juice. I decide to hold myself up on my elbows on the side, which seemed to help... until we stopped. I think to myself that I would be much better off if the engine kept running. Without the engine, even in calm waters, the boat seemed to almost bounce from side to side, to where I could barely keep my balance. I proceeded to let more juice loose til I could conjure enough strength to just cast one reel. I pull it together, and cast about 3 times. I caught a fine red snapper, about 2 feet long. I also saw some dolphins coming along the side, eating what most people were throwing back because of the fish's size. That was a cool site to see them within petting distance. The thought of petting them or swimming them was heavily out-weighed by more thoughts of my impending water pollution from my mouth and its opposite end.

When I couldn't spew anymore, I finally laid down in the cabin and stayed there the rest of the 6-hour trip. The few moments that I got up, my brain alarmed itself and told me that if I got up again, my organs would be the next thing to leave my body. So, I gave in and laid down again happily.

The worst part of it really was that my father-in-law paid for me to go, only to lose my entire insides to the gulf. But at least I caught one fish right? Next time, I'll just take a double dose of dramamine. I've learned my lesson there.


Jessica said...

Very very funny! At least we have a new legendary vacation story...there's one each year. My dad was not sad that you vomitted. I don't think he felt it was a waste. :)

Drew Caperton said...

That is a legendary vacation story. Kristy's family has legendary Easter stories where someone always loses teeth and gets hurt really bad on Easter. Bloody Sunday clothes and scraped chins are what Kristy's family thinks of first when someone says, "Easter." Do we have any legendary childhood stories (besides the time Mom went postal)?

jerry said...

hahaha that brings back memories of boat rides in 12 foot seas for 8 or 9 hours to get to the rig when i worked offshore. i only got sick my first time out, but man i know what you felt it can be really rough. fyi for future boat trips, find the lowest spot in the boat and lay down, but you will probaby do fine next time. what used to happen to me tho, you may have had this, at night when you get in bed, or even in the shower sometimes, when you just got back in, you still feel like you are on water.....its weird

Darken the Door said...

I echo that story Jerry of offshore. When Erica and I went on our honeymoon we went for a cruise. Half the boat was sick. No pretty